Someday....

Do you ever daydream of what you could do with more hours in the day ?  I do...

Last night after spending all day cleaning, painting and organizing like a pregnant psycho, I realized a few things:

1. I'm 7 months pregnant and if I push myself past my limits, I will pay in back pain for days
2. My house 'to do list' is not only not going to get done by the time the baby comes, but may never get done {especially since I add to it daily}.  I need to start enjoying the journey and stop cramming in a lifetime of work into each weekend.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a good productive weekend, but not to where I'm flipping out if I don't get everything "checked off". 
3. Me and my honey need to enjoy these last few remaining Sunday's before our life could quite possibly become complete chaos for a while.  We {and by "we", I mean "I"} have been so consumed with what "has" to get done that we barely spend any time just enjoying each other anymore. 

I spent all day reflecting on this new found realization and starting thinking about my life.  What's really important?  What do I need to make time for?  If there were just more hours in the day...in a lifetime...what would you want to do?  I've started a 'bucket list' of sorts and it goes a little something like this:

1.  learn Spanish
2. find a charity, volunteer, and mean it
3. go on a honeymoon
4. paint more...just to paint for the art of it
5. spend a set amount of time each week on my spirituality
6. start practicing yoga
7. teach my baby girl how to be a better person than I am
8. stay positive
9.learn how to sew
10. open a little junk store of my very own

I know it's a little cheesy and I blame that on my pregnancy hormones.  I do have my emotional breakdowns, but more often, I am a complete sap  ;)  It's amazing how being pregnant makes you reflect not only on your life, but also the life you want to create for your new family. 

Well, gotta catch up on the bachelor and then take my bath!  hee hee

-jd

big blank wall ideas

So, I think I figured out what to do with the wall behind the TV (faux paneling) and the columns (MORE faux paneling), but that still leaves quite a few gigantic blank walls that I need to fill...cheaply :) 

Here are a few ideas I'm tossing around. 


You know I've been dreaming of a gallery wall for forever, but I never thought about creating shelves for flexibility.  Seeing how I move things around constantly, this might be more practical for my needs.  Hmmmmmm, maybe in the dining room similar to this on the wall perpendicular to the buffet.  I've toyed around with putting a fireplace mantel on that wall, but so far, no luck in finding {an affordable} one.


I would love to find something like this, but am only willing to shell out $50 or so for it...maybe I could put it on my paneled wall under the TV {which would be mounted on the wall}.  So many ideas, so little time...


Another idea I've had is to try a large black and white painting.  Somehow paintings like these go with any decor and add so much personality and life.


My last idea...stencil!  Cheap and fun! 

What have you guys done to fill up those walls?

-jd

desks

I'm pumped to paint the desk next to the bed tomorrow.  I'm still trying to perfect the "restoration hardware" wood finish look with paint.  I haven't yet, but another try will be tried tomorrow on the desk!  I painted and reupholstered the chair today and can't wait to see it all pulled together.  Here's some inspiration:


The mirror and lamps are so interesting and I so wish I had a space for a big table desk like this...



This is so perfect... Why can't you ever see the wires to the lamps??!?



I think I'll take the mirror I got for the nursery {that I don't think I'll use now} for $5 and hang it over the desk.  The wood look on this chair is what I'm going to try to create on the desk...


I need a lamp, books, flowers, a mirror, and some other things to lean against the wall to layer...

Hopefully tomorrow I can get the desk and chair finished and possibly accessorize with what I got!  Stay tuned :)

-jd

T O T A L L Y O B S E S S E D : Moulding

I have been toying with the idea of trying to bust out some 'faux' paneling on the many columns in my house as well as the blank wall in the living room that will hopefully soon house the TV. 



As a homeowner of a new home, I lack architectural interest.  I love my house, but it has minimal details, no fireplace, no moulding details, etc.  We installed crown moulding in the entire house a couple of weeks ago {pics soon to come} and it made SUCH a big difference especially for the money we spent by buying MDF moulding.  It made me wanting to add more and more. 



I think I'll take the 'paneling' up to about 6' on the columns and then do a full wall behind the TV.  The columns will be painted white, but I might paint the full wall either the wall color in a higher sheen or a couple of shades darker...


I think the key, no matter what, is to paint the moulding the same color as the wall.  When it is accented in white like this, it just looks cheap {to me}.


ooooooooooooooh  la  la.

-jd

The Grammys

found these while watching the grammy's.  btw: lady gaga is so weird.


I wonder if I can use the top of my big coffee table as a huge canvas for a black and white circle painting.  I don't know that this would go in my house, but I LOVE it.  I have also been stalking that sofa pillow fabric for quite some time at Calico Corners, but afraid it might look too "dorm room"....might have to pick some up now after seeing it in action.


rustic wood, a french provincial piece, art collage, old books, fresh flowers, and gold mirror---you get my heart EVERY TIME.  I could do without the cheap pink pillows, but I still love this room.


packed with personality

My next home WILL have out of control paneling and moulding...and be near a sidewalk...and some water ; ) 

Night Y'all,
-jd

Hide Rug

I've been trying to figure out how to incorporate a little animal print into my house since this post and I think I've finally figured it out....a hide rug!  I got an oriental knock off rug about 15 days ago at 'Tuesday Morning' that has been posted up in my breakfast room until Thursday.  It just wasn't doing it for me.  Old rug returned, obsession of hide rug continues.  I found one on eBay last week and I promised myself that it can be mine, all mine...IF........I finish all of the other little projects I have going on at the house right now.  Let me tell you, that is no small feat.  I have a breakfast table, 5 dining chairs, a desk, a desk chair, a guest room and closet, and a king headboard to paint.  I have curtains that need a rod to be hung.  I have to get a cable outlet installed in the guest room, another chair to be painted and reupholstered, baby bedding and curtains to make, and last but not least, a chandelier to repair and hang.  Whew! 

So, it might be next year before my hide rug actually gets purchased, but that's OK.  I actually need a rug for the living room more so me and baby girl can have a play area!  To date, I've drug home three different rugs for that purpose.  They've all been returned :)

Here is the one I found on eBay.  It's almost 7'x8', so the scale would be amazing and take up almost all of the floor space. 


It will go so cute under the round table {to be revealed soon} and bamboo chairs {soon to be painted and recovered}.  I'm hoping to have a revamped breakfast room in about a month :)

Here are some pics that are helping to pursued my decision...

 



Hope everyone has a relaxing, peaceful, but productive Saturday!  Hopefully new posts to come tonight or tomorrow with what I get accomplished today. 

-jd

Second Trimester Recap

Sitting here watching Idol, my heartburn in full force, it makes me think at almost 26 weeks...the blissful second trimester is almost over.  I know I haven't blogged much during this time because there's not too much to tell.  It's everything 'they' said it would be.  I've only barfed once, I'm full of energy, I sleep like a rock and overall I feel great! It's not quite as glamorous as Heidi Klum makes it look, but what can you really expect when there is a human being 'nesting' in your body.  I mean, I have never felt more unattractive in my life, but that is such a small price to pay compared to feeling your sweet baby girl moving INSIDE YOUR BELLY.  The entire process is truely a miracle. 

Now, keeping it real on this miracle:  A few random thoughts on my second trimester...

1. How can I have hair...like man beard hairs, coming out of {what seems like} every pore in my body?  I am dealing with hair removal in places that no woman should have to deal with.  I have to check 'down under' every once in a while to make sure I'm still a girl. 

2. I'm still waiting on my 'glowing skin'.  I've looked everywhere for it, but mine must be lost.  Instead I have an acne beard.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I have zits all over, but it is concentrated where my chin meets my neck.  I just recently noticed that I have back acne as well...but only on the left side of my back.  What up with that?

3. I can't wait to get a tan.  I need a tan. 

4. I can feel my heartbeat in my entire body at all times.  I know you have like 50% more blood in your body when you're preg, but it is insaine to be able to actually hear your blood pumping through your veins at times.  Speaking of veins...whoa.  Since I can't go to the tanning bed, my skin is translucent and you can see every vein in my body.  Not a good look.   

5. So far, hands down, the coolest part of being pregnant is feeling her move.  I heard all these horror stories about how random strangers will come up and touch your belly and how that would be so annoying.  I haven't gotten this.  Do I look mean? No one touches my belly :(  I'll be in the elevator and she'll start rocking and rolling and there have been times when I want to blurt out to whoever is riding with me "my baby is moving, do you want to feel her?".  If Drew is home and his hand is not on my belly, my feelings are hurt.  She doesn't spoil me either; she mainly moves at night and only for a few fleeting minutes.  I love it.  

5.  You know before you get pregnant and you visit Target and it seems like they have an endless supply of cute maternity clothes.  Well, that's not actually the case.  Maternity clothes are either ass ugly, ill fitting, outrageously expensive or a combonation of the three.  My maternity purchases have been slim {adding to my self-consiousness} because I refuse to spend money on clothes that I will only wear for a couple of months, that cost a fortune, and that fit all whack.  I challenge someone to make a cute affordable maternity jean that you can wear with heels {as in, they don't shrink in length after you wash them}, in a stylish non wal-mart wash that has a belly section that doesn't roll up or down constantly all day long.  Please!?

6. Pregnancy emotions are no joke. It's everything you've heard/read and more.  I can cry or laugh at the drop of a hat.  And no, it's not all sad crying.  I have laughed until I have tears streaming down my face and my sides hurt so bad that I am physically sore afterwards. 

7. When you get pregnant, there is this unsaid bond that forms with all of your friends who have children.  You now know.  I can't imagine how much stronger that bonds gets when you know about the birth.

8.  I know this is humorous, but it's really how I feel right now and I think I should document it.  Ok, so I have been living like a pauper in order to take 4 months off when baby girl is born.  I am looking forward to taking that time off almost as much as I am to meet my girl.  Now, I'm sure the birth is painful and I won't be getting any sleep at the beginning, but for whatever totally random and pshychotic reason, this hasn't phased me {yet}.  I mean, I have FOUR WHOLE MONTHS where all I have to do is take care of myself and the baby in the comfort of my own home.  Don't get me wrong, I lose sleep over the hell that will be my life when I go back to work, but the time home...I'm not concerned???  Isn't that twisted?  I am in this la-la land decorating this sweet nursery almost oblivious to the fact that there will be a human occupant to that nursery...soon....and that occupant will be arriving in this world through my va-jay-jay.  Even as I type it, I'm totally calm.  Anyways, I just wanted to put that out there, so I can laugh and cry later remembering how I feel right now on that subject.

9. Since getting pregnant, I have come to appreciate my family and friends so much.  I am a wee bit more sentimental and it really makes me take note of how awesome everyone in my life is and how lucky my baby girl is to come into this world and be surrounded with so much love.  The day of my 24 week melt down, my mom called to check on me.  She works two jobs and does way more for people than she should, especially me.  She was taking the next day off to relax, but when she heard my meltdown disaster she offered to come over and help me clean, organize, run errands, "whatever I need".  I can't even put into words how I feel about that...about her in general.  I wish I could take her "momness", bottle it up and take it daily so my baby girl feels about me, the way I feel about my mother. 

10.  The current name is Annie Rae.  I was kind of ho hum about the name at first, but Drew absolutely loves it...which has made me love it.  It's not to say that Annie Rae is written in stone, but as Drew told me "something special will need to come along if you want her name to be anything other than Annie".

I hope everyone is wrong about the dreaded third trimester.  Swolen ankles, sleepless nights, drained energy, and uncomfortableness...stay away.  I'm going to suck the life out of the next two weeks just in case, but I'm optimistic.  My third trimester will be different. 

ps.  Blogger's spellcheck is broken and I can't spell....so sorry. 

-jd

The F I N D

On the way home today, I stopped into my F A V O R I T E store: The Goodwill.  I think I found my favorite F I N D to date!

What a cute lil' stud, right?

But what is it you ask? 

AN ASHTRAY!  Holy coolness!!!  The wings flip up and there are two cig rests.  The best part...

Three dollas!  Woop Woop :)

I just set him out on his new home = the patio table.  Now if you come over to visit and want to take a puff, you can do it in style ;)  Bye Bye drinking glass ashtray.

This purchase has just reminded me how much I love old junk.  I have vowed not to make any "new" purchases.  Besides sheets, sofas, and towels...I'm going USED. 

What are some of the good ol' finds you all have come across?

-jd

24 weeks

I'm about to get on my soapbox, so beware.  This post is really more a therapy session for me...so sorry if it's long and makes no sense what so ever. 

You know when you have one of those moments where something happens and all of the sudden daily annoyances of life, all the stress of the previous month, and any other negative feelings that you can otherwise dismiss come flooding out through every pore of your body.  I categorize these moments into 'emotional meltdowns' or 'complete breakdowns'.  An 'emotional meltdown' is like {for example} when you're driving home from dinner and you start thinking about the day you have to go back to work after being on maternity leave for 4 months with your sweet baby girl.  You have to drop off your infant love with a total stranger and go to work and actually function knowing she is in the care of some random.  Before you know it, you're driving down the road, tears streaming down your eyes.  Emotional breakdowns are mainly in your head...when you think too much.  They're quick and over in minutes.  When you stub your toe and scream an expletive as loud as you can and then you're fine...that's emotional.

Now, a 'complete breakdown' is what I experienced today.  It strums up emotions from a dark place.  They can ruin an entire day...not only yours, but anyone else you come in contact with. 

I had my 24 week doctor's appointment this morning.  At my last docor's appointment I was told that I only had to pay $90 for our "birth plan" which would cover our deductible and the birth of the baby.  Thank god.  We have shelled out $1500 WITH INSURANCE so far, so to know we only had $90 left {plus 20% of any hospital bills} was reassuring.  At the beginning of the year, I changed my $60/mo cheapo insurance plan to the mack daddy $150/mo insurance plan because I was getting tired of the bills rolling in of things the insurance company didn't cover. 

It also must be said on a side note that I do not care for going to the doctor's.  I don't ever feel confident that they know what in the hell they're talking about.  I think they care equally that you are a paying patient with a job and insurance as  they care for your health.  I feel like Americana's with insurance and a job pay for the others that don't.  I know that is probably a horrible outlook, but I just really cannot stand anything related to healthcare.  I avoid doctor's like the plague. {I could write an entire other post on my views regarding this issue, but I'll spare you}

So, I stroll in totally prepared for my 30 minute wait because god for bid they actually call you back even remotely close to your appointment time.  I have my magazine and I'm ready to pay my last $90 and be done with the 'baby bills' for a couple of months.  I hear my name.  Go up to the counter.  "Six hundred and fifty nine dollars".  I just stare at her and start to look behind me like "who are you talking to?".  "What?" I say.  "You have $675 more dollars on your birth contract and you're insurance denied another $300 something dollars worth of previous visits, blood work, etc, so you're portion today is $659".  I calmly say "at my last appointment, the chick confirmed that I only had $90 more to pay".  I start crying.  "No, blah, blah, blah".  I can't even focus on what this woman in front of me is saying. I'm sobbing and shaking and so mad that I could literally pick up the sign-in clipboard and smash it against the side of this girl's face.  I'm trying not to make a scene since all of this is happening at the check in counter with a jam packed waiting room, so I calmy just say "I understand that you've checked all of this out with my insurance company and I owe the money, but do you understand why I'm livid that I was expecting to pay $90 and now you tell me I owe $659 with no notice?  Can you please call me next time there is that much of a difference in what you tell me I owe so I have a little time to prepare".  Get this- the girl behind the counter goes "what is the limit that you want us to call you if it differs?" in her most annoyed voice.  {I'm still crying and I can feel the heat radiating off of my face}.  "If you tell me I have to pay $90 and you figure out that it is actually $90.50, I want you to call me!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I look at her like she is quite possibly the most ignorant person I've ever come in contact with.  Then I sling my credit card on the counter. 

As I sit there waiting to be called back, I can feel my complete breakdown coming on.  I start thinking about my hatred for the heathcare system.  I run through my long ass list of things I need to do now, during, and after the baby is here.  I think about work.  It all hits me at once.  They call me back. 

It is the appointment where you have to drink that sweet drink to see if you have diabetes.  {it really isn't that bad at all}  The nurse asked me to sign a paper for my HIV test.  I tell her I just had an HIV test.  She said she knew, but that there is the option to get another one now.  AM I BEING PUNKED?!?!?  I'm freaking married and pregnant.  Why in god's name would I need two HIV tests in a matter of 3 months?!?!?  Could it POSSIBLY BE because it costs money and you can bill my insurance company.  NO, I declined the test. 

Back in the waiting area, I hear my name being called again.  I'm ready for a fight.  I whip my head around and this lady is talking about education on cord blood banking.  I watch some videos on the amazing healing powers of banking your kid's cord blood.  Of course, why wouldn't I want to do this.  Then she tells me about the costs.  I was done.  I just asked her if we could discuss this another time.  I knew if I went into it, I would surely regret my words, actions, or both. 

Finally, I made it out.  I got in my car and bawled.  I call Drew.  I cuss and scream and tell him what a crock of poo I think the whole morning has been.  He says he's sorry.  I yell at him that I'm overwhelmed and that I need his help.  Somehow in that moment, it was partially his fault that I had a rotten morning.  I'm still not sure how.  I got home and he was still home.  Normally, I would be elated and soak up every second he is with me.  I walked right past him and went inside.  I knew he was confused and I felt a little guilty, but I just wanted to get inside and not "talk about it".  I walked inside and the house was a mess {we are in the middle of doing so many house projects that there is crap everywhere}.  In the kitchen was a full sink of dishes and one that Drew used this morning freshly soiled on the counter.  I screamed at the top of my lungs, burst into tears, and picked up the plate and slammed it into the sink {it was plastic}.  I just stood in the kitchen for the next couple of seconds fuming about that dirty plate screaming cuss words so loud that every vein in my neck was bulging and I was starting to sweat. 

Then like a blanket suffocating me, every "issue" I've come across in the past month+ came to the surface.  Some as small as wearing the same pair of ill fitting black faded maternity pants 4 days a week and others like finding a childcare service I feel comfortable with that doesn't cost more than my monthly mortgage.   

I continued to have a crappy day wishing I could call into work and just say "I really can't do it today.  I cannot emotionally handle work today", but I sucked it up and went to my afternoon full of meetings. 

I feel better now, but I still feel like as a working wife and mother, we are expected to do so much.  I think it's easy to get overwhelemed and fear that it will just get worse when my newborn baby gets here.  I'm going to make a conscience effort in the next couple of months to come up with a plan for balance.  I'll share my journey with you...

Any ideas on balancing all of the struggles of being a working mom who's husband works alot would be great!  Is there anything you guys have found to make your lives easier and more peaceful? 

Happy Hump Day,
-jd