Day Three

Ebay rug returned, new temporary rug in place. We got the ebay rug back from Stanley Steamer and it looked wonderful:

It was a little faded and stained, but it was also from the 1940's and had the best colors to start a palette in the house. We sat on the sofa and the smell from the rug hit you in the face like 'whoa'. I got on all fours and started smelling the rug. "Stanely Steamer didn't do crap to this rug". My mom came over and brought her steam cleaner. Drew went over it FOUR times and

each time emptied filthy water, a ton of dirt and hair, and the smell was starting to permeate the house.

Here's just one bottle full of what we found. I could have filled up a truck load of these. Finally, we threw the rug outside in hopes that fresh air would help. 5 hours later, I go outside and I can smell the freaking thing the minute I open the door. Grossed out beyond belief, I told Drew to just return it through Ebay. We opened a case and are out the $31 it costs to ship it back. Lesson Learned!!!! I mourned my beautiful rug for a while and almost felt a slight depression from finally finding something to kick start the major design element in the house. Oh well, press on.

I did still want a rug for a multitude of functional purposes and I knew if I waited, I might not ever have the time or energy to look after the babe is here, so I hopped on craigslist and found this replacement:

Is it my dream rug? Not in a million. Are there any colors in it that I can pull into pillows and art? I don't think so.

But

Does it stink? No. Is it soft? Yes.

Did I mention that it was $45? It could be worse, I know, but it just looks so...........generic and the colors with my sofa aren't ideal.

But it will be staying for a while until I find my dream serapi colored antique oriental that doesn't smell like straight ass. Where are you rug?!?!?

In other news,

I go to the doctor at 10am today in hopes of some news that I've progressed and will not have to be induced on Thursday. I'm trying to stay positive, but I just don't "feel" like anything is happening :(

-jd

Random thoughts of an overdue pregnant woman

Just some simple randomness I've thought of since being on Maternity Leave (day #2)...

1. Grocery shopping while everyone else is at work totally changes the experience.  It was actually enjoyable.

2. My house is the cleanest it has ever been and it's amazing. 

3. When I don't 'have' to get up for work, I only sleep about 15 minutes later than I would waking up to an alarm.

4.  It's weird being able to do stuff when you want and not having to schedule 9,000 things in "after 5" or "on the weekends" or "during lunch".

5. To all of you people who have kids and see a pregnant woman, it's not necessary to tell her  to "get her rest now" or "how hard it will be to leave the house soon" or "how her life is about to change".  Trust me, she hears enough negative random comments.  Try saying something positive or just a simple "congratulations".  If I'm not on my death bed from exhaustion, going endless days without showering and not ever leaving the house, I must say, I'll be a little disappointed because that is definitely the consensus with a newborn!

6.  There's nothing sweeter to me right now than sitting in the house, in silence, listening to my dog sleeping (snoring).  I can't imagine what it will feel like when it's the baby that Drew and I made that I'm listening to.

7.  It's a lot easier to be healthy when I'm at home and reps aren't bringing in sweets and I don't get that 10am, 2pm, 3pm, and 4pm urge to snack from boredom at work.

That's all.  Hopefully pics of the temporary rug to come soon....or pics of the baby.  Either way, stay tuned ;)

-jd

Happy Friday!!!!!

I've been a little MIA lately working on the nursery (pics to come soon), getting ready for my maternity leave, and just being pregnant in general.  But today I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  Free from the eight to five that is.  Starting Monday, I will have four months off of work! 

I started my day at the doctor's in hopes of dilation news.  No such luck.  Baby girl is quite content in my belly and It doesn't look like she's going to make her appearance by her due date on Sunday.  I'm not mad at her though.  My sciatic nerve pain is gone and I'm feeling pretty good.  I get out of breath walking to the bathroom and am not sleeping all that great, but that's to be expected.  I've had two mini freak outs this week thinking about the pain of birth, the babies health, what I'm going to do with her when she gets here, if I'll be a good mom, what a baby will do to my marriage...you know, the normal things moms to be get to think about at 3am!

My induction is set for Thursday at 6:30pm, but I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday morning and if "things are progressing" then they're going to leave me alone (I'd rather not be induced).  If they're not, the date is probably going to stay as Thursday depending on how the doctor and I feel at that time. 

In other news, the nursery is turning out to be my new favorite room in the house and has actually opened the door to color in the rest of the hizzy.  Can you believe it!?!?  COLOR.  IN.  MY.  HOUSE.

I accidentally bought a rug off of ebay last week and it's at Stanley Steamer right now, but pics soon to follow.  I am an avid craigslist-er and as you all know, I love a good bargain hunt.  I'll e-mail low ball offers and once I get the item down to the lowest possible price, I determine if it's worth it.  Horrible, I know.  Well, Drew is an avid ebay-er and I browse on there from time to time under his account, but have never really been as into ebay stuff because you can't see if before you purchase which makes me nervous.  I'm not a huge online shopper.  So, anyways, I figure out that I like Oushak Turkish Serapi rugs (I know you're thinking "What in the hell is she talking about").  It took me about a month of research to figure out which kind of oriental rugs appeal to me so I knew what to search for.  I liked the Serapi colors and the faded look of an oushak and the patterning of the turkish rugs.  SO, off to ebay I went to browse around.  A few caught my fancy and I saw a little things that said "make an offer".  I'm good at that, so what the hell.  I made an offer of $400 on a $800 rug.  Figured there's no way that deal was going through and if it did, maybe I'll consider the purchase.  Skip to the next night when Drew is like "You bought a rug?"  "No, I just made a few offers on some"  "Um?  It doesn't work like that and one of your offers was accepted....so you bought a rug???"  "Oh."  "Yea, this ain't craigslist honey" "Um".  Of course I freaked until the rug arrived looking at the pictures online like a psycho, e-mailing the seller after the fact asking if there were any stains, if it stunk, etc.  Yesterday Drew calls me that the rug has arrived.  I flew home my heart pounding and walked in.  He had already laid it out and arranged the furniture exactly how I had the past 4 times I've brought living room rugs home from Tuesday Morning (ended up returning every one).  I LOVED IT!  It adds so much color depth to the room.  I can't wait to post pics, but unfortunately it did have some staining and Drew said it smelt "old", so we dropped it off for a good clean just to be safe. 

I finally feel like I have some sort of design direction as far as colors for the abode!

As for next week's agenda: I'm going to clean the house in preparation for the babe's arrival, finish the little onsie and hat I'm making her to come home in, and just try and relax (we all know how that goes).  I'm sure my rambling blog posts will get longer and more frequent now that the eight to five isn't in the way...

Stay tuned!
-jd

Nursery Progress

I have been totally MIA recently, but I promise I have been busy and have a ton to blog about.  I'm totally redesigning most of my house in my head and it should make for some pretty interesting posts   : /

I'm 2 days into week 36 and besides baby girl resting on my sciatica nerve which is almost unbearable...I'm doing great!  Last Monday I started having a little back pain and by Friday I was crawling around the house.  No lie.  C R A W L I N G.  Other than that itty bitty thang, I still feel pretty good   :) 

Baby,
You will be full term this Sunday...I'm just sayin'  ;)

You're loving mommy

I'm still plugging away on the nursery design which has proved to be the hardest room in my house.  It's tiny, only has one tiny window, brown carpet, and has to be hands down the cutest room in the house for the cutest occupant of the house.  Here's where I am:   

Here's the view from the door.  Daddy...in his panties.  BAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA.  Just kidding.  I still haven't decided what to cover that chair in.  If I was brave, it would be a pattern....but you know how I roll.  I'm sure it will be some sort of neutral, probably gray.  I think the elephant table will be receiving a fresh coat of white paint to match the armoire.  Note: I still have to repaint the frame of that chair to be the soft white of the armoire and not the primer white it is currently.  I need a new lamp or a new lampshade, but I'm digging a floor lamp in that location.  I'm keeping my eye out for a {cheap} replacement. 

I don't think I've blogged since we {and by "we", I mean "Drew" repainted the nursery .00001 shades lighter than it was before.  SO much better, right?  I scored that armoire off of craigslist for $75 and painted her up right.  It might be my favorite find to date. 

This is the crib that we got off of craigslist for $150!  A custom bedskirt and window treatment are coming soon....as soon as I make a decision on the fabric.  OH!  ps.  The reason we were hanging in the nursery tonight is beacuase we {again, just Drew} rearranged the furniture in the nursery in every possible configuration before returning it to exactly how it was when we started.  Reason #1,456,987 why I love my husband.  I have three vintage botanical prints that will go over the crib.

Closet doors.  I'm just going 'round the room so you can get a feel for the {tiny} space :) 

Remember this?  It was some sort of buffet piece and I picked it up at Salvation Army for $25.  Well, it's a hot mess.  I can't stand how junky it looks and am currently looking for a wee dresser to put in it's place.  I know...

Also hunting for vintage corbels to make into a shelf to go above the future dresser.  That piece will be repurposed somewhere else in the house; don't you worry!

Now back to the window treatments and bedskirt.

This color looks kind of whack in this pic, but this is really closer to the wall color...

I picked up a boat load of this antique lace at a thrift store that I'll put at the bottom of the window treatment which will look a little like:

This is Drew's attempt at humor.  Not funny.  He got one of my double chin zoomed in like 45x too while I was thinking....thinking of what?

This teeny tiny fuscia silk I have carried around in my purse for months.  Hmmmmmmmmmmm.  It would look super uuber cute with the lace, BUT....you know how I do with color!

Maybe it would be better than the neutral silk and spice it up a bit?  Or maybe I would hate it or get tired of it in 2 months...who knows?

Whatya think?  I know everyone will probably say the pink, but I'm just SO SKEERED.

The neutral option is on the right {that's how much the colors change in certain light...the top and bottom are the same fabric}, the pink on the top, and the lace.  The lace and whatever fabric I go with for the window treatment will be incorporated into the bedskirt as well.  Probably with a neutral sheet.

Also toying with covering the back of the armoire in that black and cream dot paper.  I've started to accessorize the inside, but still have a long way to go.

That's that.  My goal this week is to get set on the fabrics.  That will be quite a feat if it gets accomplished!

-jd

O+P

We just got a sneak peak of a mini O+P shoot that my good friend and awesome photographer Rebecca did for us while Fallon was down for my baby shower!  Just wanted to share a few of my favorites from her blog.  I can't wait to see the rest!!!







I have my maternity shoot on April 10th; I'm anxious to see what Rebecca will have in store for that!

-jd

30 weeks

I will be entering m 31st week tomorrow and I thought before week 30 is up, I need to blog about what a wonderful week it has been.  I think this has by far been one of my favorite times in pregnancy.  The time changed so the bright sun stays out longer which is allowing me to take pretty good walks after work.  I used to walk at a fast past with my ipod blaring thinking of the million things I need to do once my butt hits the car seat.  Now, I walk with no music and enjoy the peace and silence of the trail at a much slower pace {but still as fast as I can comfortably walk, haha}.  I think I realized this week that slowing down can be good.  I've always had "issues" relaxing, but this week I think I did a pretty good job.  I am consciously savoring my nightly bathtime that has been a routine since I was a little girl {I take a bath every night...in bubbles....for a long time} juuuust in case I have to introduce showers into my routine once little miss A.Rae gets here.  The house is getting organized and that makes my nesting instincts simmer down a bit.  We had a garage sale today and only made $150, but I am now rid of most of the stuff that we haven't used in the past year.  Hopefully I can start organizing what remains. 

My belly is growing what seems to be daily and miss thang is getting stronger and stronger with her movements.  I am finally at a point where I'm not obsessing over every pound I gain and I am starting to appreciate the beauty of being pregnant and the miracle and insanity of having a human being that Drew and I created growing healthy inside of me.  I've always thought pregnant women were beautiful, but then when it happened to me I was kind of like "maybe not so much". lol.

Daydreaming about what life will be like on maternity leave pretty much consumes me.  I fantasize about playing with Annie, taking her on walks, getting to know the new member of our family and hopefully working hard on getting on a routine so my life is not total hell when I go back to the cubby. 

Well, I'm anxious to see how things will progress on the home stretch and I'll keep you all posted!

-jd

Second Trimester Recap

Sitting here watching Idol, my heartburn in full force, it makes me think at almost 26 weeks...the blissful second trimester is almost over.  I know I haven't blogged much during this time because there's not too much to tell.  It's everything 'they' said it would be.  I've only barfed once, I'm full of energy, I sleep like a rock and overall I feel great! It's not quite as glamorous as Heidi Klum makes it look, but what can you really expect when there is a human being 'nesting' in your body.  I mean, I have never felt more unattractive in my life, but that is such a small price to pay compared to feeling your sweet baby girl moving INSIDE YOUR BELLY.  The entire process is truely a miracle. 

Now, keeping it real on this miracle:  A few random thoughts on my second trimester...

1. How can I have hair...like man beard hairs, coming out of {what seems like} every pore in my body?  I am dealing with hair removal in places that no woman should have to deal with.  I have to check 'down under' every once in a while to make sure I'm still a girl. 

2. I'm still waiting on my 'glowing skin'.  I've looked everywhere for it, but mine must be lost.  Instead I have an acne beard.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I have zits all over, but it is concentrated where my chin meets my neck.  I just recently noticed that I have back acne as well...but only on the left side of my back.  What up with that?

3. I can't wait to get a tan.  I need a tan. 

4. I can feel my heartbeat in my entire body at all times.  I know you have like 50% more blood in your body when you're preg, but it is insaine to be able to actually hear your blood pumping through your veins at times.  Speaking of veins...whoa.  Since I can't go to the tanning bed, my skin is translucent and you can see every vein in my body.  Not a good look.   

5. So far, hands down, the coolest part of being pregnant is feeling her move.  I heard all these horror stories about how random strangers will come up and touch your belly and how that would be so annoying.  I haven't gotten this.  Do I look mean? No one touches my belly :(  I'll be in the elevator and she'll start rocking and rolling and there have been times when I want to blurt out to whoever is riding with me "my baby is moving, do you want to feel her?".  If Drew is home and his hand is not on my belly, my feelings are hurt.  She doesn't spoil me either; she mainly moves at night and only for a few fleeting minutes.  I love it.  

5.  You know before you get pregnant and you visit Target and it seems like they have an endless supply of cute maternity clothes.  Well, that's not actually the case.  Maternity clothes are either ass ugly, ill fitting, outrageously expensive or a combonation of the three.  My maternity purchases have been slim {adding to my self-consiousness} because I refuse to spend money on clothes that I will only wear for a couple of months, that cost a fortune, and that fit all whack.  I challenge someone to make a cute affordable maternity jean that you can wear with heels {as in, they don't shrink in length after you wash them}, in a stylish non wal-mart wash that has a belly section that doesn't roll up or down constantly all day long.  Please!?

6. Pregnancy emotions are no joke. It's everything you've heard/read and more.  I can cry or laugh at the drop of a hat.  And no, it's not all sad crying.  I have laughed until I have tears streaming down my face and my sides hurt so bad that I am physically sore afterwards. 

7. When you get pregnant, there is this unsaid bond that forms with all of your friends who have children.  You now know.  I can't imagine how much stronger that bonds gets when you know about the birth.

8.  I know this is humorous, but it's really how I feel right now and I think I should document it.  Ok, so I have been living like a pauper in order to take 4 months off when baby girl is born.  I am looking forward to taking that time off almost as much as I am to meet my girl.  Now, I'm sure the birth is painful and I won't be getting any sleep at the beginning, but for whatever totally random and pshychotic reason, this hasn't phased me {yet}.  I mean, I have FOUR WHOLE MONTHS where all I have to do is take care of myself and the baby in the comfort of my own home.  Don't get me wrong, I lose sleep over the hell that will be my life when I go back to work, but the time home...I'm not concerned???  Isn't that twisted?  I am in this la-la land decorating this sweet nursery almost oblivious to the fact that there will be a human occupant to that nursery...soon....and that occupant will be arriving in this world through my va-jay-jay.  Even as I type it, I'm totally calm.  Anyways, I just wanted to put that out there, so I can laugh and cry later remembering how I feel right now on that subject.

9. Since getting pregnant, I have come to appreciate my family and friends so much.  I am a wee bit more sentimental and it really makes me take note of how awesome everyone in my life is and how lucky my baby girl is to come into this world and be surrounded with so much love.  The day of my 24 week melt down, my mom called to check on me.  She works two jobs and does way more for people than she should, especially me.  She was taking the next day off to relax, but when she heard my meltdown disaster she offered to come over and help me clean, organize, run errands, "whatever I need".  I can't even put into words how I feel about that...about her in general.  I wish I could take her "momness", bottle it up and take it daily so my baby girl feels about me, the way I feel about my mother. 

10.  The current name is Annie Rae.  I was kind of ho hum about the name at first, but Drew absolutely loves it...which has made me love it.  It's not to say that Annie Rae is written in stone, but as Drew told me "something special will need to come along if you want her name to be anything other than Annie".

I hope everyone is wrong about the dreaded third trimester.  Swolen ankles, sleepless nights, drained energy, and uncomfortableness...stay away.  I'm going to suck the life out of the next two weeks just in case, but I'm optimistic.  My third trimester will be different. 

ps.  Blogger's spellcheck is broken and I can't spell....so sorry. 

-jd

24 weeks

I'm about to get on my soapbox, so beware.  This post is really more a therapy session for me...so sorry if it's long and makes no sense what so ever. 

You know when you have one of those moments where something happens and all of the sudden daily annoyances of life, all the stress of the previous month, and any other negative feelings that you can otherwise dismiss come flooding out through every pore of your body.  I categorize these moments into 'emotional meltdowns' or 'complete breakdowns'.  An 'emotional meltdown' is like {for example} when you're driving home from dinner and you start thinking about the day you have to go back to work after being on maternity leave for 4 months with your sweet baby girl.  You have to drop off your infant love with a total stranger and go to work and actually function knowing she is in the care of some random.  Before you know it, you're driving down the road, tears streaming down your eyes.  Emotional breakdowns are mainly in your head...when you think too much.  They're quick and over in minutes.  When you stub your toe and scream an expletive as loud as you can and then you're fine...that's emotional.

Now, a 'complete breakdown' is what I experienced today.  It strums up emotions from a dark place.  They can ruin an entire day...not only yours, but anyone else you come in contact with. 

I had my 24 week doctor's appointment this morning.  At my last docor's appointment I was told that I only had to pay $90 for our "birth plan" which would cover our deductible and the birth of the baby.  Thank god.  We have shelled out $1500 WITH INSURANCE so far, so to know we only had $90 left {plus 20% of any hospital bills} was reassuring.  At the beginning of the year, I changed my $60/mo cheapo insurance plan to the mack daddy $150/mo insurance plan because I was getting tired of the bills rolling in of things the insurance company didn't cover. 

It also must be said on a side note that I do not care for going to the doctor's.  I don't ever feel confident that they know what in the hell they're talking about.  I think they care equally that you are a paying patient with a job and insurance as  they care for your health.  I feel like Americana's with insurance and a job pay for the others that don't.  I know that is probably a horrible outlook, but I just really cannot stand anything related to healthcare.  I avoid doctor's like the plague. {I could write an entire other post on my views regarding this issue, but I'll spare you}

So, I stroll in totally prepared for my 30 minute wait because god for bid they actually call you back even remotely close to your appointment time.  I have my magazine and I'm ready to pay my last $90 and be done with the 'baby bills' for a couple of months.  I hear my name.  Go up to the counter.  "Six hundred and fifty nine dollars".  I just stare at her and start to look behind me like "who are you talking to?".  "What?" I say.  "You have $675 more dollars on your birth contract and you're insurance denied another $300 something dollars worth of previous visits, blood work, etc, so you're portion today is $659".  I calmly say "at my last appointment, the chick confirmed that I only had $90 more to pay".  I start crying.  "No, blah, blah, blah".  I can't even focus on what this woman in front of me is saying. I'm sobbing and shaking and so mad that I could literally pick up the sign-in clipboard and smash it against the side of this girl's face.  I'm trying not to make a scene since all of this is happening at the check in counter with a jam packed waiting room, so I calmy just say "I understand that you've checked all of this out with my insurance company and I owe the money, but do you understand why I'm livid that I was expecting to pay $90 and now you tell me I owe $659 with no notice?  Can you please call me next time there is that much of a difference in what you tell me I owe so I have a little time to prepare".  Get this- the girl behind the counter goes "what is the limit that you want us to call you if it differs?" in her most annoyed voice.  {I'm still crying and I can feel the heat radiating off of my face}.  "If you tell me I have to pay $90 and you figure out that it is actually $90.50, I want you to call me!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I look at her like she is quite possibly the most ignorant person I've ever come in contact with.  Then I sling my credit card on the counter. 

As I sit there waiting to be called back, I can feel my complete breakdown coming on.  I start thinking about my hatred for the heathcare system.  I run through my long ass list of things I need to do now, during, and after the baby is here.  I think about work.  It all hits me at once.  They call me back. 

It is the appointment where you have to drink that sweet drink to see if you have diabetes.  {it really isn't that bad at all}  The nurse asked me to sign a paper for my HIV test.  I tell her I just had an HIV test.  She said she knew, but that there is the option to get another one now.  AM I BEING PUNKED?!?!?  I'm freaking married and pregnant.  Why in god's name would I need two HIV tests in a matter of 3 months?!?!?  Could it POSSIBLY BE because it costs money and you can bill my insurance company.  NO, I declined the test. 

Back in the waiting area, I hear my name being called again.  I'm ready for a fight.  I whip my head around and this lady is talking about education on cord blood banking.  I watch some videos on the amazing healing powers of banking your kid's cord blood.  Of course, why wouldn't I want to do this.  Then she tells me about the costs.  I was done.  I just asked her if we could discuss this another time.  I knew if I went into it, I would surely regret my words, actions, or both. 

Finally, I made it out.  I got in my car and bawled.  I call Drew.  I cuss and scream and tell him what a crock of poo I think the whole morning has been.  He says he's sorry.  I yell at him that I'm overwhelmed and that I need his help.  Somehow in that moment, it was partially his fault that I had a rotten morning.  I'm still not sure how.  I got home and he was still home.  Normally, I would be elated and soak up every second he is with me.  I walked right past him and went inside.  I knew he was confused and I felt a little guilty, but I just wanted to get inside and not "talk about it".  I walked inside and the house was a mess {we are in the middle of doing so many house projects that there is crap everywhere}.  In the kitchen was a full sink of dishes and one that Drew used this morning freshly soiled on the counter.  I screamed at the top of my lungs, burst into tears, and picked up the plate and slammed it into the sink {it was plastic}.  I just stood in the kitchen for the next couple of seconds fuming about that dirty plate screaming cuss words so loud that every vein in my neck was bulging and I was starting to sweat. 

Then like a blanket suffocating me, every "issue" I've come across in the past month+ came to the surface.  Some as small as wearing the same pair of ill fitting black faded maternity pants 4 days a week and others like finding a childcare service I feel comfortable with that doesn't cost more than my monthly mortgage.   

I continued to have a crappy day wishing I could call into work and just say "I really can't do it today.  I cannot emotionally handle work today", but I sucked it up and went to my afternoon full of meetings. 

I feel better now, but I still feel like as a working wife and mother, we are expected to do so much.  I think it's easy to get overwhelemed and fear that it will just get worse when my newborn baby gets here.  I'm going to make a conscience effort in the next couple of months to come up with a plan for balance.  I'll share my journey with you...

Any ideas on balancing all of the struggles of being a working mom who's husband works alot would be great!  Is there anything you guys have found to make your lives easier and more peaceful? 

Happy Hump Day,
-jd

First baby purchases

This weekend I finally made my first purchase towards the nursery; can you believe I waited that long!?!?  Since the doc said at our 12 week appointment that this baby could be a girl....and I was in the right store at the right time..........and happened to stumble upon the cutest lamps I've ever seen.........I had to buy them.....right? 

I know you may not see what I see {these puppies with possibly gold shades flanking the crib on the top of  42" high bookcases}, but at $10 a piece, how could I go wrong? 

So, I guess I broke the seal with these.  I mean, I know I can't buy all sorts of girl stuff until the beginning of January when we find out for sure, but....................

when you see a clock like this for $4.99 that would look oh so cute in a bookcase.....

tee hee.  I measured and drew up plans for the furniture arrangement tonight.  I might just take a peek this Saturday at a few of my favs to see if I can find any furniture.  Gender neutral furniture ;)

Stay tuned,

-jd

Random Pregnancy Thoughts

I'm in the dressing room at Kohl's today after work trying to squeeze my muffing top in some pants and I hear this little girl{I would guess 4 years old-ish} saying, loudly, "Mommmmmyyyyyyyyyyy, you look like a FAT COW".  Silence.  "A fat coooooow, fat cow, you look like a faaaaaaaaaaaat cow".  The mom mummers "stop talking".  The little girl proceeds "but, you look like a fat cow?".  The mom says "stop talking" in the calmest voice enunciating every syllable.  I'm standing in my dressing room one leg in a pant, one leg out, with my mouth gaped open waiting for what happens next completely mortified for this stranger.  The little girl keeps going "you look like a fat cow (now singing it)".  The mom calmly says "Well...........you...............look like a.....................pretty..............princess".  Again, every syllable enunciated. 

Not looking forward to those moments  : /

I added 'public humiliation' to my list of things I really wasn't ready or aware of before getting knocked up.  What else is on that list you ask....

MY PERSONAL LIST OF THINGS I'VE LEARNED THE PAST 15 WEEKS:

1. Before I got pregnant, I just knew that I was going to stay in shape.  I was going to eat healthy, excersize 4 times a week, do yoga, and be one smokin' preggo.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  Little did I know {in my first trimester}, by 5:30pm on the ride home my eyes would weight 150 lbs a piece; I would be throwing up by 7pm; I was exhausted and felt like death.  You could not pay me to go to the gym.  I could keep down one thing {before 7pm} = carbs.  So, for the first three months, I ate carbs and was in bed every night by 8pm at the latest. 

2. I would aquire a super human sense of smell.  I can smell a bag of trash from 5 miles away.  Things that wouldn't otherwise have a smell, like my car and house, now totally gross me out.  I hold my breath when I open the pantry, because our trash can is in there and just the thought of that smell makes my stomach turn.  Luckily I figured out that Vicks Vapor Rub and mint gum help tremendously. 

2 1/2. I've heard stories about pregnant lady farts, but I have never in my life smelled anything like the gas that leaks out of my ass these days {mix that with #2 and it's not pretty}.  It makes me nausous and on one occasion, has made me phsycially throw up.  I get seriously pissed off when I fart now, because I have to move locations from wherever I am.  And when I'm in, oh...let's just say the shower, you can't escape.  That smell combined with steam and heat...should be packaged and sold on the black market as a weapon. 

3. Grocery shopping is challanging.  A package of raw meat might as well be a pile of dook in cling wrap for all I'm concerned.  Anything that I've previously hurled up {which is a wide variety} is suddenly not so appealing.  I'm scared to gain any extra weight, so I don't want to load up on junk.  What does that leave you?  Cereal, hummus, and peanut butter and jelly.  I've slowly started adding sandwiches to the list even though I've read that I'm not supposed to eat lunch meat?  I can write a whole other list on what I'm not supposed to do, eat, or feel.

4. There is hope for the I.B.T.C. (itty bitty titty committee) during pregnancy.  Pre-pregnancy, my sad little tots barely fit in a padded A cup.  Now, at 15 weeks, they are full and lucious.  I want to walk around in my new size C bra and a low cut wife beater everywhere I go.  I hope they stay this managable size.  I'm not trying get stretch marks on my goods......

5. You don't go from your normal flat tum to a cute baby belly.  I'm not sure how long the "muffin top stage" of pregnancy lasts, but I'm in full force.  From what I've heard, it might "pop" around 5-6 months.  Maybe sooner.  Right now, I just look like Ive had a really nice Thanksgiving.  I can't fit into my regular pants, but maternity pants are too big.  I'm guessing I will yearn for the body I have now in a couple of months...

6. Speaking of weight.  I guess when you tell people you're pregnant, it is free reign for them to comment and ask you about your weight.  I was part of this club pre-pregnancy too.  Now, I will zip it.  Pregnant or not, no woman wants to hear or answer "How much weight have you gained?" or "You look pregnant today"....at least not this pregnant woman.

7. The knowledge that there is a human being growing inside you that you and the one you chose to share your life with created a life out of love.  I can't really describe this, but I never knew the feelings that come over me sometimes.  I already feel protective over this little apple in my tum.  I feel connection to it; we share a body--she is where I am all the time.  I talk to her constantly and sometimes I don't even speak a word....

-jd

The name game

Like every other chick I know, I've been thinking about my baby's name since way before it was even a glimmer in my eye.  Now that's it's real and I actually have to name a human being {my human being} with a name that it will have for the rest of it's life...I'm a little intimidated. I thought I would blog about the process because I'm guessing it will be hilarious to go back once the bean is born and see what kind of whack stuff I'm coming up with so early in the game. 

A little background:  I have recently started focusing on girl names given the news at our 12 week appointment.  I might kick myself for that in two more months, but hey....what can it hurt...we have plenty of time?  I want her name to act as a basis for who she'll be.  Given that I don't know her and it is my job to guide her into that person; I can only dream about that at this point.  I am hoping that she will be healthy, happy, independent, loving, understanding, artistic, athletic, compassionate, optimistic, honest, humble, playful, forgiving, creative, persistent, sincere and considerate...........you know, basically like Super Woman.  Now how can I come up with a name for her that allows her to 'be all she can be'?  I've started with internet search sites.  I want her name to be original and unique, but classic at the same time.  I want it all...

This is what I've got so far.  Comments are welcome, but may be dismissed   ; )

Possible First Names:
Billie
Selma
Leni
Stella
Rae


Possible Middle Names:
Rae
Jo


PS. It must be said that Drew has not agreed with all of these names.  I am still living in a dream world and playing.  Once I'm more decided, I can try to convince him to see things my way ;)  I'm hoping I might be able to pull the "If I can name the girl, you can name the boy" card.....which we all know will never fly when the time comes, but it might work.  lol.  Just kidding.  I'm not that controlling....

-jd

Huffing Vicks

In my quest to fight nausea, I have been trying new experiments pretty much every night.  Well, I found one that actually works pretty well {for me}, so I thought I would share in case any of my fellow pregos or any future pregos have the same issue I have.  I honestly have no clue what triggers me to feel sick at times.  It is closely related eating dinner, but I have tried skipping dinner completely and that doesn't help, so it's not entirely food related.  Anything that doesn't smell like laundry detergent makes me gag which then just makes me feel gross and pukey, so one night I was cleaning out my bathroom drawers and came across Vicks Vapor Rub...I had the knee jerk reaction to open it up and sniff it.  HEAVEN.  It makes your sense of smell kind of numb and mutes any other rank smells that would otherwise be haunting my senses.  So, I began to huff Vicks.  At my 12 week appointment, I asked my doctor if my addiction to Vicks was safe for me and the babe.  She replied "Whatever works, but I can get you something stronger".  Me being the anti-pill hippie to medicine person that I am, stuck to the Vicks.  I have   a jar at home, in my car and in my purse.  I don't know if this will work for anyone else, but it took me 5 weeks to figure out this cure, so I wanted to pass along...

We GO together like

 O+P have been friends for a long time.  

She is the salt to my pepper, the yin to my yang, the Laverne to my Shirley.

We are so different, but so much the same!

 Congrats to the best girl friend sarcasm can buy!  You're gonna make one hell of a momma!

-fd

Love at first sight

After a very long and trying 12 weeks, we FINALLY made it to our second doctor's appointment.  I was nervous; like going on a blind date.  After 35 minutes in the waiting area after arriving to our appointment on time {personal pet peeve} they called us back.  We went in the little room and the sonogram tech told me to sit on the bed and for Drew to sit in the chair beside me.  There was a big flat screen TV on the wall in front of us and she turned it on.  I pulled up my shirt and she started the sonogram.  At first there was nothing and I had a two second panic attack that I wasn't pregnant anymore, then BAM...a baby.  Clear as day, I could see it.  It was laying on its back and it's little perfect face profile was clear as day.  We were both just staring in silence.  Then, little legs, knees, and toes came into view.  Who knew you could fall in love so fast?  Those little legs were stretching and those toes.  The sweetest smallest toes I could imagine.  I can't even describe the feeling.  It was like my heart was about to explode and I was the most excited, scared, in love, in awe, and the most overwhelmed I've ever been in my life.  After confirming "are those the wee toes?", "is that the tiny hiney", "is it moving, or is that you?", we asked "can you tell if it's a boy or girl!?!?"  She asked "Do you really want to know", um, "HELLS YEAH".  She said she could take a measurement from what appeared to be a tail...or a spine sticking out of the bum? to this other part of the hiney and if it measured under a certain number, it is usually a girl and over was usually a boy.  So, she squirmed around on my belly trying to find the "genitals"a and finally found the angle she was looking for.  She said "now you know what an educated guess it, right?"  "yea, yea, whatever, IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL", " It means you can't go painting the nursery, no going out and buying anything.  You won't know for sure until 20 weeks, but in three years, I've only been wrong twice".  "OK, understood".  "Looks like you're having a girl!".  I shot a glance at Drew knowing he was secretly hoping for a boy, but he didn't give anything away.  I really didn't feel any different knowing the sex...I was still in love with my stretching legs and toes; no matter if they were a boy's or a girl's. 

We had to go back out in the waiting area to wait for our doctor and sitting out there, holding the ONE sonogram picture like it was a billion dollar bill, I started crying.  I was happy, but also sad.  I wanted to drag that sonogram machine out the door and load it up, so I could see my little bean any time I wanted. 

The doctor's visit was quick and painless.  Fully clothed, I asked if I could take a bath, keep lifting weights, get spray tanned, huff Vick's, do a trampoline work out, and continue with my one cup of coffee a day {that I'm always a little scared to drink all of}.  She said everything was fine except I shouldn't lift more than 20 lbs and she looked at me like I was speaking Spanish on the trampoline workout.  She said she wouldn't recommend that even if I weren't pregnant.  I'm still not sure why,but I trust her. 

So, now I'm just passing time until the next time I get to see my baby girl? in there TWO FREAKING MONTHS from now.  Seems like an eternity...

-jd

Still alive...

I'm still alive; sorry for the absence in the blogging world, but let me explain.

Drew and I were planning on starting to try (for a baby) in October of this year...as in last month.  I went to my regular girl doctor in August to make sure I was A-OK to begin "trying" in October.  She said of course, that I might just want to get started on a prenatal vitamin.  Great!  I asked her for a refill on my birth control pills for the two months because I was out.  She said just to be careful for those two months; that it really would be better to stay off of them if we're going to get busy in October with the baby making.  So, I went online and researched ovulation and got a little calendar to mark down all my "days" (you know I'm a wee bit OCD).  I wanted the "days" marked in the beginning, so we knew when not to knock the boots and then starting in October, those would be the "days"....if you get my drift.

So, anyhow, the first ovulation day marked on my calendar for us to start "trying", was September 21st.  Drew and I had talked about it and we were ready!  Well, on September 14th....I looked ahead and thought it strange that I was ovulating next week and hadn't had my period yet.  All of a sudden (at work) I start breaking into a sweat.  I flung back my calendar pages and started counting....27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, SHIT.  I was late.  Somehow I made it through the work day, each time I went to the bathroom closely examining my toilet paper.  Only pee.  I got out of a meeting early that day so I flew home and immediately took a pregnancy test.  One trickle of pee and that bad boy flashed the PLUS SIGN.  All I could hear was my heart beat.  I got up off the toilet (pants still down) and looked at the box....a plus sign means your pregnant.  I just sat there and stared at the box and then at the test....the box...the test....the box...the test. 

Drew is off on Wednesdays and I knew he was playing golf, but that he would be home relatively soon because we were having our neighbors over for dinner.  I call him trying to play it all cool even though my voice is high and shaky and my hands are sweating so bad I can barely hold the phone.  "Hey there, when are you going to be home?", "Um....prolly like an hour or so, just finishing up playing cards", "An hour!....right, OK, well, I'll see you then!  Hurry home; I miss you".  I hang up.........pace........shake.........pace.................then it hits me that I'm about to tell Drew that we are having a baby.  I want this to be special...after all...I am THRILLED.  So, I get the Christmas wrapping out and get the biggest red bow I could find and stuck it on the pregnancy test.  Is that test really right?  I wasn't so sure; so I took another one.  The plus sign showed up before the pee had even hit the stick.  OK, so I trashed that one.  I put the positive test with the big red bow on his side of the bathroom counter where he was sure to see it.  I stood back and stared at it.  What if he didn't know what the plus sign meant?  I took the box with the description of the plus sign and minus sign and slid it under the positive test so the plus symbol on the box was directly under the plus sign of the actual test.  I cleaned some more.  Then, I thought.  I want to capture this moment on camera somehow.  So, I busted out my cheap a$$ digital camera that has a dinky little video camera on it and positioned it on the window sill, so it would be pointed right at the pregnancy test. 

The longest HOUR AND A HALF ever passed and finally I heard the garage door opening.  My heart started pounding and I flew in the bathroom to turn on the video camera.  Drew came in and goes "I'm gonna go mow the lawn before the neighbor's come over" (I'm thinking, Oh, HELL NO, you're not).  Think fast.  "Um, actually, they called and they're going to be here early.....you need to jump in the shower and get ready!", "oh, OK".  I see him walking in slow motion to the bathroom.  He goes right to the big red bow and stares.  I'm standing in the door way dumbfounded.  He looks at the test box and reads "pregnant, not pregnant", then he looks at the actual test and goes "pregnant".  Turns to me "are you pregnant".  I'm laughing and crying and shaking my head yes.  He mumbles "cool" and comes over and hugs me.  We're both laughing and I'm crying and we embrace for a couple of minutes.  I pick up the video camera and point it at him and say "Are you excited".....he replies "I think I still need to go mow the lawn". 

I've now made it 12 weeks with some rough days and some blissful days!  I have much more to share and hopefully will bust back in on the blog scene now that my nausea has subsided a wee bit. 

We are absolutely thrilled and I can't wait to share our journey with you all :)

-jd